the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
