i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
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we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
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i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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