this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Randomize
