i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Randomize
