i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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