Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
