Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Randomize
