was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Randomize
