My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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