in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
