Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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