im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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