She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize