...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Randomize
