Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
