I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I feel like a drive thru vagina
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
