My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Randomize