i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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