i already hear my dad disowning me
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Randomize
