i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Randomize
