you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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