there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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