that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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