just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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