i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize