So drunk its hurt
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
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