I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
