i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
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