all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
