i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
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We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.