Texts From Last Night

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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.

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  (484): i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman. http://tfl.nu/dzx3
  Replies (55) Good night (7326) Bad night (1020)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"

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  (425): its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks" http://tfl.nu/ax74
  Replies (21) Good night (814) Bad night (4235)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"

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  (732): So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?" http://tfl.nu/5x5l
  Replies (78) Good night (1144) Bad night (17216)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart

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  (817): His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart http://tfl.nu/4nfy
  Replies (21) Good night (5390) Bad night (1103)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.

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  (205): Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am. http://tfl.nu/dyri
  Replies (6) Good night (2027) Bad night (1195)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me

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  (859): But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me http://tfl.nu/ot16
  Replies (4) Good night (2156) Bad night (980)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on

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  (832): You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on http://tfl.nu/zwxm
  Replies (4) Good night (3224) Bad night (789)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.

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  (708): he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay. http://tfl.nu/sfnl
  Replies (6) Good night (1340) Bad night (803)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.

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  (541): Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule. http://tfl.nu/eokl
  Replies (28) Good night (3993) Bad night (954)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.

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  (412): Dude, it's not gay. It's winter. http://tfl.nu/4ls1
  Replies (12) Good night (1053) Bad night (503)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!

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  (937): Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would! http://tfl.nu/dkq8
  Replies (8) Good night (910) Bad night (379)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow

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  (201): i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow http://tfl.nu/q6h5
  Replies (2) Good night (620) Bad night (310)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day

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  (815): To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day http://tfl.nu/tlou
  Replies (2) Good night (417) Bad night (489)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?

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  (217): I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been? http://tfl.nu/gh9w
  Replies (1) Good night (704) Bad night (249)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  I would do everything over again, except the fireball.

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  (304): I would do everything over again, except the fireball. http://tfl.nu/xsan
  Replies (2) Good night (433) Bad night (231)

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