i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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