i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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