You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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