Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
