So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
