he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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