I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
