Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
