is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
