When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Say something about gay babies.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize