he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
