So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
