I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
