Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Me too!
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
