38 yer olds are good kisserssss
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
nutella sex= disaster
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
