Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I need a beard to bite.
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