Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
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