On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
