so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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