Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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