all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
