i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Randomize
