oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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