Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
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Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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