erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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