hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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