you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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