YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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