I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
His hands were made for my vagina.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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