I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
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