so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
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