I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
