found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
